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Thursday, 26 May 2011

My AFSPA story

I’ve heard many a time that almost everyone is affected by this act AFSPA. I never gave it a 2nd thought. Truth is, I’m a victim too. How can i forget that? Maybe mom n dad tried too hard to hide d bitter part of the society. Or maybe i chose to stay in my safe fairy tale cocoon. But then, i had this early morning conversation with my fren Chattu yesterday and it triggered all these thoughts.. my mind going back 16 years from now. Thought i should write about it and settle its restlessness. Here it goes.

    Let me tell u a story about this man. My uncle. Dad has a lot of brothers. But this one was our favourite. And of course dad’s too. Dad never said it, but i know. When dad defied his family and society, and became a believer, a Christian, none of his family members supported him. Till date, all my cousins, uncles, aunties both from mom and dad side are all Hindus.. except this uncle. He converted. He was the most gentle guy i knew. Never saw him angry. Never saw him laugh much either. Gentle. Unlike dad who can be extremely aggressive at times. This man, my favourite uncle, had 3 kids. and we always played together when we visited my dad’s hometown Phayeng. The family lived in a house connected to our church and they took care of it. Happy family. Contended family. Nothing could go wrong. How naive i was.

My uncle would drive an auto when he’s not doing Church work or tending his rice field. Late one night there was an emergency in the locality. A boy had an accident, hitting his chest against the electric post and was having difficulty breathing by the minute. So the family knocked at my uncle’s door. Its not like he was the only driver in the area. It’s just that he never said no to anyone and people knew he’d help..always. The date was 7th Jan,1995. If only he had refused, then he would have seen that his son grew up to be just like him, honest and helping. His daughters are doing well and one of them even dedicated her life to Jesus, studying Theology. Also after his death, our grandpa who used to be the most hilarious comedian forgot to tell his jokes. Yes. All he had to say was ‘no’ that day. He didn’t. Fate had a different story stored for him. And so, early at dawn while the world was still dark, he went to drop the sick family to town.

It was about 9am and i was still a kid of 5th grade having my winter break. Me and my sisters were playing, soaking the sun. Mom and dad weren’t home. A guy came. I peeked through the main gate without opening it. That’s what i do when i’m the eldest human in the house. He was uncomfortable. Even a kid noticed that. Of course he was. He was the messenger of dead. He only said "Your uncle has been hurt." It gave a sudden chill. Though i was too small to understand i knew it was a “bad” kind of hurt, the way he said it. And i cried.



Eventually i found out what happened. Some CRPF were on sentry duty at RMC hospital, guarding their colleagues who got hurt at a previous shoot-out. While they were visiting Sulabh’s washroom, an unknown extremist ambushed them, fired a few shots and fled. The wounded CRPF who was shot at his ass (literally, bullet grazed, obviously survived) triggered angry friends. And they were so angry that they thought, “Manipuri shot one of us, lets shoot them all”. They went in front of the hospital and lined up anyone they could find..in this case it was the auto drivers, rickshaw pullers and a medical student from Arunachal. And they started firing. It happened so fast. No one comprehended properly what happened. And within seconds 9 men were lying dead on the ground. My uncle was among them. They were all at the wrong place at the wrong time.


 The Arunachali medical student who was studyin at RMC was walking with his Bengali fren but they pushed d other away and shot him. Y? Coz he looked like a Manipuri. My uncle after helping the sick people with the registration and other hospital formalities was sitting in his seat with a Haophi to protect himself from the cold winter morning. He was shot in the head. Small comfort knowing that he didn’t suffer for long.



AFSPA is a bitch. The accused fled and there was nothing much anyone could do about it. The victims were of poor family and they don’t know much about law & order or attorneys. Not to even think of paying for one. Even though they wanted justice so bad, with times everything subdued. Dad fought for it. He never let us know much about the dark society. And i didn’t care to ask. The case got bounced here and there. Hopes got scattered many times. But he never gave up. I remember him going places to collect signatures for petitions. I remember his fren the lawyer uncle coming to our house many times. He was a good man too. I heard he played a big part. To tell the truth, i don’t know to what extent dad and the other victim’s relatives went to seek justice. Or who all helped Dad. I don’t want to ask now and dig up old wounds either. But judging by the fact that it was the only case where the accused were finally convicted, i think they did good. Also realised that justice is the last thing those crying widows in Manipur get. No thanks to AFSPA. No thanks to insurgencies either.



But when i say justice here u might think its a happy ending. But no. It most certainly is not.! Nothing can replace life. The case was solved in 2008. After 13 years. I remember something about the victim’s family compensated for the loss, about 2lakh.. provided the kids get it after their 18th b’day .. something like that, even though other online news say differently. Four men were sentenced to life imprisonment. Hope they’re really in jail and not walking free with fines and bails, i dont know much about this legal shit. Hope they rot in hell.


The last time the armed force went on a killing spree, it killed 10 civilians and a lady called Irom Sharmila decided to go on a hunger strike. Its been 10 years now but she still lives without food. How? The bloody Govt decided to forcibly nose-feed her. A person can’t even die in peace. Also a guy burnt himself and died. But nobody remembers him now. Mothers have stripped themselves in protest, fainting on the street at the horror they’re been pull down too. Yet the Indian Govt still doesn’t listen to us. I hate the insurgents who’re d reason why this act exists. But a little revision of the act won't hurt anyone, no? At least when innocent lives are taken, there should be justice. AFSPA could be a good thing, to tell the truth. But its only used as a licence to kill. It disgust me..!!



This post is so unlike me. Firstly its too long..!! wheeww.. Secondly, I don’t usually analyse the dark society coz i belong to a certain group of Manipuri . Those dreamy eyed Manipuri who think 'see no evil and no evil will stare you back'. But here i am writing about it. Dumping the memories.. so that i can think about pretty things tomorrow.


More info about the killing  click here . My uncle’s name was Angom Debendra Singh. But we called him Uncle Tomba. I hope u’re at a happy place now Uncle.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

My Beacon of Light

 Itz been a year.. and you’re still far

But my thoughts are of u so far

Days passes as season change..

Thoughts get mingled up n jammed.

But no matter how shiny this life gets,

A day without ur voice is still a mess..

I’ll make mistakes, i’ll fall again..

I like hell and it loves me back

Yet your trust is a beacon of light,

And your wait keeps me alive..

U wash my sin wit everything in you

U made me believe in something new.


By Gracy


Saturday, 14 May 2011

Innocent Adultery :)

I think of you and i know it’s weird,

The things we do and the jokes we shared.

I think of you and it’s just not right.

I got a guy and he’s alright.

But yet i think and that’s what i do,

Even wait for you like it’s something to do.

I like it when you give me your time ,

And i like it that you liked it too.

Situation will change and you’ll be gone,

I still will have my remaining bonds.

Till our goodbyes and the final days,

I’ll think of you and smile all day.......


-By Gracy


Author's Note : Someone might kill me after reading dis.. So just want to clarify dat this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. :P And here comes my funeral..

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Random Thots Part 2

I accidently re- watched the movie “No one killed Jessica” a few hours ago. And it made me think. Well these thoughts had been coming 4 quite a while now. But i was not ready to accept it.
I’m thinking very deeply and i realised that i’m not a “DEEP THINKER”. I like fun. I like happy faces. I like staring blindly at d night sky. I like spaces in my alphabets, I like simple words, I like uncomplicated life. I ignore everything else. I don’t read newspaper. I am not an activist. I don’t have a cause that i believe and support. People all around talk about how to make our state better and how to make the killing stop, but i look away. I don’t care enough. I hate listening to the bitter parts of the society and i act dumb almost all the time when it comes to politics. I don’t know anything about it and i don’t try to.

Yes, I don’t have a strong opinion. And these thoughts never disturbed me before. But now i’m a bit uneasy. I need to find a place where i belong. I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m not a good writer. I’m not a good programmer. I am not even a good girlfren. I don’t do anything that makes me an expert in a any field. I always moved on to other stuffs as soon as i get familiarized to certain level.

I live in a fantasy world where i’m the star and everything attached to me are well.. sidekicks.(a lot of people live in dat world, trust me) Need a reality check. This is earth. And things happen without reason all the time. We need to look after one another. We need to have opinions. to help one other. When a person is oppressed, another person should say “ this is not done!!”. When some other people helped in a cause which is totally selfless there is a certain weight to it. Opinion is power. And i want to have a voice. I want to contribute like others in making the society a better place to live in. Be a prominent feature in this era of idealism. Join politics and change the system from within! Then... I realized that the movie had definitely gone into my head and i’m not making sense. Who am i kidding? I hate thinking deep. I can’t be what i am not.


Yes , opinions are good.But no. I don’t have an opinion in all the current situation. I have a conscience that signal me what is right and what is wrong. But it hardly allow me to judge other people. And it contradicts my style of thinking too.

I believe in a beautiful world. A world which was given solely to us by the creator. A world where there are incredible sceneries and amazing life forms. I believe that we should all live in this world together. This whole world, yeah the whole thing belongs to us. This world as a whole and not some continent or country or state. This is our abode and i hate it when there are restriction about what, how, where to go. Why can’t we just live in it as 1 big family? Why do we have to be selfish. This land is mine. This boundaries and that..These languages are mine. These customs are mine. I find it very materialistic. I find culture interesting. But preserving it is not something worth dying for. Ofcourse i don’t want them to disappear, "Museums" are there for a reason. My perspective are different. I believe in evolution. Let’s not oppressed it by being too sad about the lost past, instead embrace the changes and lets live happily together. But hey..that’s just me


P.S. i) I didnt write dis coz i wish to visit Grand Canyon without a visa :P
ii) check out singapore's Nicole Seah.. i wudnt mind being a politician who looks like dat.. go girl go!!

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

The Wait


The Wait..

I walk down the road,I walk all alone.
The nature protecting me,
The wilderness feeding me.
I slept with the wind,and the earth is my keep.
Waiting for the one i dream,
Waiting for my Queen.

I stumble upon her again
Her long wavy hair shines.
They flashes before my eyes
Her smile’s so divine.
I tried to touch her soft skin.
She ran away scared, they all do.


I cried when i miss her touch.
The careless breath, sweet scent of her.
I trembled and i shivered.
Just need one last gaze of her
I’m a mad man, the world says
And i’ll die of broken heart, they say.
With pity eyes they stared.
With empty look they went away.


Hush there goes my hazel eyes
She looked so bright and i smiled
I stood standing as she ran away.
The pain in my chest stayed.
Then it hit me in a flash,
I remember her funeral,
She ain’t coming back again.


-By Gracy

 
P.S. : Saw a wild beard mad guy,possibly homeless, on d way & one of my fren said he turned that way after his wife died. maybe they were pulling my leg.. do u think love like that exist??a love to die 4.. a love that questioned one's sanity..

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Summer Time

I feel guilty that i don’t update my blog regularly. How come i keep on forgetting about this??!!. Maybe i shouldn’t have created it in d first place.. Now i’m whining!! Great..!!

hmmm .. Nothing much to say. Except that its summer time. The temperature have risen considerably and i loved it. It’s not that i don’t feel hot. I do. I am human!! Duh..!! But i like being hot. I like summer. Everyone have different opinion regarding the four seasons. My season is summer. It brings out the best in me. I feel Free... Happy.. Positive... And i Smile a LOT...... Winters, cloudy days might seem romantic to some people but they make me suicidal. Too dark. Summer is bright & yellow. And its fresh.!!

So.. Here to summer..dedicating d song “Summer Girls” by LFO to everyone.. always loved that song.

Summer Girls- LFO

P.S. : first time inserting an audio & i know itz not perfect. feeling rather sleepy ryte now. will try harder next time :P