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Saturday, 15 October 2011

Goodbyes Sucks!

The day before yesterday my small sis (though she’s annoyingly taller than me) came back from work with a running mascara. No, she didn’t get dumped. She was crying her eyes out because it was her last day at work. It was sweet goodbye tears for letting go of sweet time spend. And there i was sitting at the bed with a mouthful of her goodbye chocolate gifts, listening to her with a strong feeling of Deja Vu ’coz sista, this have all happened before. She sobbed when she left school, she sobbed when she left college, etc etc.. you get the drift right? I tried to feel sympathetic but all i could think of was why don’t I cry at my goodbyes? Does that make me a less loved person? You see, when i left college (twice) and when i left Assam or even when i leave from Bangalore, the top thing running in my mind was “Good Riddance!”  i always run away before any proper farewells. I hate the emotions doing their rounds at goodbyes. And i know i won’t be sad one bit if i leave ma job today. Tsk tsk..sad facts.. Then i had to slap myself and remind myself how lovable i am and how much i was missed and how sad everyone was each time we had to part (or at least they convinced me that they were sad, i’ll never know for sure) . Lame thoughts!

The only time i remember crying was that unforgettable embarrassing highly depressing moment at the airport when i first leave my home for college. I was red at eyes and nose, sobbing uncontrollably in front of many staring eyes while saying goodbyes to my family. Maybe i cried for all goodbyes that day. that must be it, right? After all there’s no point in crying coz I always keep in touch with my close friends, no matter what. And I’ve now understood that nothing last forever. For better or worse, life goes on and we can’t stop time. All we can hope is to have some adventure along the way and create unique memories as trophies.

As for the little tall sister, she always sucks at goodbyes in her own way. No kidding, i now remember that it was in her gene since early childhood. When i was at 1st std and she was at kindergarten, i always took her with me during our lunch break at school. And whenever the recess got over and the bell rang, she used to hold on to me crying and begging not to go away. This happened almost everyday! Imagine the horror i had to endure. I often ended up crying and running my way back to class after convincing her we’ll meet again soon. Com’on i was a tiny winy kid at that time and i had to put up that kind of shit! Maybe that’s why i’m so F up now. I mean, almost all mental problems in adults are now traced back to childhood trauma. Hmmm.. i’ll kick that wretch a couple of time tonight while she’s sleeping( coz she’ll win in a brawl any day if she’s awake)

Okay i should stop writing now since this post dived into my past where i shed tears. I don’t do tears. Believe me, crying is not my style. In fact i haven’t cried in years.. not counting the secret tears after watching a romantic movie. Here i go again, more tears. Time out.

2 comments:

  1. :).... cry cry..gracy please cry.... someday... ;P

    You are funny....

    ReplyDelete
  2. i doubt u'll ever see me in that situation :P

    ReplyDelete

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