A lot of people are walking at the park here. And they're all fat. It doesn't motivate one's soul seeing this sight. I want to believe in the popular saying “No pain, no gain” instead this park is yelling “Even with pain, still no gain”. Anyways that’s not important. What’s important is why am i walking all alone in a park? I tried to think of a good reply that involves the word healthy, fresh and big ass somewhere along the line.. which of course was all far from the truth. The real reason why i’m walking in this fat filled park is because i’m having a Quarter-life Crisis. I’m a depressed person who needed to clear her mind, it sucks.
Like most normal people in this F#@%$# up universe, i started to think about other human’s misery. People’s suffering can sometimes bring joy to some very bad people or so my mom said. However, i’m feeling a little joy here simply coz i was reassured that i’m not alone. You see, my age.. that is ages between 25 to whatever (till i stop being miserable) is a critical stage for the career. We finished college, some started working and some of us realised that this ain’t what we wanted. Where was the happiness we dreamt of? The vision? I’m not saying everyone has this thoughts. But most of us do. Some more than others.
There are opportunities and choices to be made. And we know that in a few years we’ll be too old to change our life. It doesn’t help when great people started to fire down torrent of advices everywhere. Let’s take Steve Job for instant (God bless his famous soul). He said “You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers....... If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle “ etc. Etc.. That kinda crap makes us wonder why do our live sucks so bad, no??! No one told me that it’s so damn hard to figure out what we love. I’m lucky i know whom i love in my relationship field (my one and only Big Guy) coz most quarter life crisis escalates when they don’t have a lover. Believe. If only i knew what i love in the job field, my life would have been very much easier. My mind keeps on changing and i suffered thinking what all possibilities i will be missing out if i don’t make a choice Right Now.
So right. I’m depressed. I’m erratic. I hate the world. If there was a war, i would hav signed up and kill people. If i was robbed, i will probably let the guy kill me. Yes, i’m that lost. And yes i’m having a bloody QuarterLife Crisis! Now go F yourself.