Did I mention that I'm already married? Well “almost married”. The story happened 20 years ago when I was 8 years old. Me and this boy next door under the influence of child stupidity was made to play a part of the wedding couple. (It wasn’t child marriage, FYI)
As I remember, the sisters were annoyingly happy about the whole thing. Yes, they married me off to a boy of same age one sunny Saturday afternoon to ward off boredom. And they never let me forget.
The wedding was arranged and attended by four annoying sisters, counting both sides. They then invited 2 other adult who didn't show, despite desperate attempts to pull them and tug them on their wrist. A total of four female craziness and one silly couple. They arranged white stuff for me to wear. Lines for me to say. They made him wear his Sunday school outfit. And there we were standing, ready and dressed for the wedding.
The elder sister of the groom played the minister who was supposed to wed us. And though the groom backed out when the puppet master asked him to put the ring on me, I still considered myself married that day.. Or should I be worried that the groom left me at the altar 20 years ago. Lol. This is kinda confusing.
Anyways, a few months after that wedding, errrr.. I mean "almost" wedding, our sweet neighbor shifted their house and I've never seen them since.
He was the one I played my toys with or wrestle or climb walls. While my sisters love to play with pots and pans with his sisters, I always prefer to run around with him. One can even say he was my best friend.
So when I knew that they were shifting their house far away, my little mind was very confused. I think that's why I wrote my first love letter. It was more of a goodbye letter stating how much I'll miss him.
His parents got hold of the letter somehow and when my parents visited them that night, they read it out loud and laughed till they shit. It wasn't embarrassing at all. It almost killed me. That must have been my first heart break? Who knows what I felt. I was too young. But now that I think about it, it explained why I had commitment issue for a long time. Hmmm.. Interesting..
He never replied. I guess he was still too young to feel anything. (Jerk)
Wondering why I’m babbling about this now? Coz 20 years later he found me. He found me in facebook a few weeks ago. I barely recognized him or in this case his profile picture. But I remembered his name. After all how could I ever forget the name of my “almost” first husband? We chatted, we reminisced, we connected. He said he wish he have a time machine. From what I know, he’d grown to be a fine man with sensitivity and integrity, dedicating his life to the work of God.
I hesitate a little before writing this post. I don't want him to read this. But then I realize he doesn't know me. And I don’t know him. What I remember of him is not the person who he is right now. And neither am i. That girl 20 years ago was a version of me which I don't even recognize. And so maybe he will never know about this blog too. So under the influence of cannabis and some sexy music, I'm writing and posting this blog post.
And dear ex-boy-next-door, if you're reading this, I did love you once. But you're 20 years too late :)